Each year thousands of women, children and men find themselves in abusive situations regardless of gender, age, race, religion, educational or economic background.  Domestic violence is defined as a pattern of abusive behavior used by an individual to establish and maintain power and control over another intimate partner.

Always call 911 if you are in immediate danger. For around-the-clock telephone support the FCC 24-hour HOTLINE is available at 208-356-0065 or 800-962-5601. If you do not live in Madison, Fremont, Jefferson, or Clark counties, you can contact the Idaho Domestic Violence Hotline at  1-800-669-3176 or you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 888-799-SAFE (7233) or 800-787-3224(TTY). The National Domestic Violence Hotline can provide you with information and referral assistance on available services and also provide support no matter where you live within the United States..    

Domestic violence can be seen through the following forms of abuse:

Physical

Emotional

Verbal

Sexual

Economical/Financial

 

Domestic Violence: As defined in Idaho Code 18-918 and as generally accepted, i.e.: a pattern of coercive tactics which can include physical, psychological, sexual, economic, and emotional abuse, perpetrated by one person against an adult intimate partner, with the goal of establishing and maintaining power and control over the victim.

All of our services are free.  Our services are confidential and are provided without regard to gender, age, race, ethnicity, religion, disability or sexual orientation.

If your being Abused

Domestic Violence:

 

Domestic Violence is any abusive or coercive behavior used to gain control of an intimate partner. Domestic Violence is a pattern of manipulative and/or violent acts where the victim is forced to change behavior in response to abuse or feels fearful, frightened and threatened. Domestic Violence occurs in current or former dating, married or cohabitating and same-sex relationships. Batterers seek to gain and maintain power and control over their intimate partners by the use of actual and assumed power. Power takes the form of strategic, abusive tactics to reinforce this control.

 

Forms of Domestic Violence include:

 

Physical Abuse: Any intentional, unwanted contact
with the victim’s body - either by the abuser or by an object within
the abuser’s control.

· Scratches, bites, grabs, or spits at a current or former intimate partner

· Shakes, shoves, pushes, restrains or throws her

· Twists, slaps, punches, strangles, or burns on the victim

· Throws objects at her

· Subjects her to reckless driving

· Locks her in or out of the house

· Refuses to help when she’s sick, injured or pregnant, or withholds medication or treatment

· Withholds food as punishment

· Abuses her at mealtime, disrupting eating patterns

· Abuses her at night, disrupting sleeping patterns

· Attacks her with weapons or kills her

 

 

Psychological/Emotional Abuse:  Saying or doing something to someone that causes fear, lowers self-esteem, or manipulates the person to control his or her behavior.

· Breaks promises

· Verbally attacks and humiliates partner in private or public.

· Attacks vulnerabilities, such as language abilities, educational level, skills as a parent, physical appearance, or cultural and religious beliefs

· Plays mind games

· Unfaithful

· Forces her to do degrading things

· Ignores her feelings

· Withholds approval or affection as punishment

· Regularly threatens to leave, or tells partner to leave

· Harasses her about imaginary affairs

· Always claims to be right

· Isolation

· Criticizing you

· Blaming

· Saying “I love you” early in relationship

· Monopolizing time

· Isolation from friends, family, and/or activities

· Interrogating

· Giving intimidating looks

· Calls or texts you constantly

· Destruction of Property

 

 

Sexual Abuse:  Unwanted touching.  Unwanted kissing.  Not letting partner use birth control.  Forcing  sex by use of threats or accusations.

· Is jealous and angry. Assumes she will have sex with anyone.

· Withholds sex and affection as punishment.

· Calls her sexual names.

· Pressures her to have sex when she doesn’t want to.

· Insists that his partner dress in a more sexual way than she wants.

· Coerces sex by manipulation or threats.

· Physically forces sex or is violent during sexual assault.

· Coerces her into sexual acts she is uncomfortable with.

· Inflicts injuries that are sex specific.

· Denies contraception or protection against STDs.

 

 

Economic Abuse:

· Controls and denies money.

· Doesn’t let partner work outside the home or sabotages her attempts to work or go to school.

· Refuses to work and makes her support the family.

· Purposely ruins their credit rating.

 

  

The first step you can take to help your friend is to learn more about domestic violence.  Society’s lack of understanding abut the dynamic of domestic violence often is the greatest obstacle a battered woman faces in her efforts to end the violence in her life.  With this in mind, here are some thoughts and questions you may have:

 

“I shouldn’t get involved in a private family matter.”

Domestic violence– also called spouse abuse, battering, woman abuse, wife beating-is not just a family problem.  It is a crime with  serious repercussion for your friend, her children, and the entire community.

 

“The violence can’t really be that serious.”

Domestic violence can involve threats, pushing, punching, slapping choking, sexual assault and assault with weapons.  It is rarely a one-time occurrence, and usually escalates in frequency and severity over time.

 

Any act  of domestic violence is something to take seriously.  Wife beating results in more injuries that require medical treatment than rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined.  Domestic violence can be deadly: thirty percent of the women murdered in this country are killed by their husbands or boyfriends.

 

“That kind of behavior doesn’t go on in my neighborhood.”

Domestic violence occurs among all ages, races, and religions.  It happens to people of all educational and income levels.

 

“She must be doing something to provoke his violence.”

Your friend is the victim of battering; she is not to blame  nor does she ever deserve such treatment.  Whatever problems exist in a relationship, the use of violence to resolve them is never justified or acceptable. 

Dating violence:

Anyone can be involved in an abusive dating relationship.  Dating relationships can be abusive even if there is no hitting.  Know abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual, or physical.

· Verbal – calls you names, insults or criticizes you, gets angry very quickly, and threatens to hurt you, someone you know, or themselves.

· Emotional – acts possessive, jealousy, controlling, tells you what to wear, keeps you from friends or activities, calls you frequently to find out where you are or who you’re with, refuses to accept the relationship is over, forces you to compromise your beliefs

· Sexual – any unwanted touching or kissing, forcing you to have sex, or not letting you use birth control.

· Physical – shoves, throws things at you, intimidating you by blocking doors, shoving, slapping, hitting, painful grabbing or pinching, pulling your hair, and strangling you. 

 

In some relationships the abuse only happens occasionally while in others in can happen every day.

 

If you are being abused, you might:

· Believe it’s not your fault.  It’s not!

· Feel angry, sad, lonely, or confused.

· Feel bad about yourself because the abuser says you are stupid or ugly.

· Feel threatened, humiliated, or ashamed.

· Worry about what might happen next.

· Feel like you can’t talk to family or friends about the abuse.

· Feel protective of the abuser.

· Be afraid of being hurt or the abuser hurting himself or herself

 

You can help a friend who is being abused:

· Listen and support your friend.

· Don’t blame your friend for the abuse.

· Encourage your friend to seek help.

· Do not confront the abuser. It could be dangerous for you or your friend.

· Find an adult you can talk to or call the national Teen Dating Abuse Helpline. 1-866-331-9474 (24 hours 7 days a week)

 

Know ways to enhance your safety:
You should think ahead about ways to be safe if you are in a violent dating relationship. It takes a lot of courage to end any relationship. If there's violence involved, it can take a whole lot more. Here are some things to consider in thinking about your safety. 

· Who can you tell about the abuse?

· What people at school can you tell --teachers, principal, counselors, security?

· Consider changing your school locker or lock.

· Consider changing your route to/from school.

· Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities.

· What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?

· If stranded, who could you call for a ride home? What is that person’s phone number?

· Keep a journal describing the abuse.

· Change the number to any cell phones the abuser gave you. Keep a cell phone, money, the number of someone who could help you and any protection order with you at all times.

· Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person? Do you know the address or route to get there?

 

 

Sexual assault:

Sexual assault is the legal term for rape, and it also encompasses other behaviors beyond forced sexual intercourse. Sexual assault can be any unwanted sexual contact, such as unwanted touching, fondling, or groping of sexual body parts. It can be committed by the use of threats or force or when someone takes advantage of circumstances that render a person incapable of giving consent, such as intoxication.

 

Forms of Sexual Assault include:

· Rape

· Incest

· Marital or partner

· Forcible Fondling

· Lewd and Lascivious acts with a minor

· Alcohol and drug facilitated sexual assault

· Sexual exploitation

· Male Rape

· Forced sex with an object

· Forced Sodomy

· Same-Sex Rape

 

 

Know the facts about Sexual Violence:

· Consider having dates, especially first dates, take place in public places.

· Do not assume that you are safe, solely because you are with someone you know.

· Set sexual limits and clearly communicate those limits. Tell your partner what you intend and establish that any sexual activity will be a mutual decision.

· Think when you drink.  Remember that alcohol and drugs can interfere with your ability to assess situations and to communicate effectively.

· Trust your instincts.  If you feel uncomfortable in a situation, do something about it.

· Remember, you have the right to say NO to unwanted sexual advances and to change your mind about participating in any sexual activity at any time.

 

Victims are NOT to Blame for the Violence:

Victims cannot stop the violence by simply changing how they behave.  All people deserve to be safe from violence, regardless of age, gender, or sexual orientation. 

 

In 2005, 92 percent of rape or sexual assault victims were female; those 16-19 years old had the highest rate of sexual victimization of any age group.  A total of 191,670 rapes and/or sexual assaults were experienced by victims 12 years old or older

 

NATIONAL SEXAUL ASSAULT HOTLINE: 1-800 565-HOPE (4673)

 

§  Of female sexual assault victims, 73 percent were assaulted by someone they knew, and 26 percent were assaulted by a stranger.  Thirty-eight percent of women assaulted by a known offender were friends or acquaintances of the rapist, and 28 percent were intimate partners.

§  Fewer than 39 percent of all rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement. Sexual assault is one of the most underreported crimes, with males being the least likely to report a sexual assault (RAINN, 2005).

§  Recent research has found that rape survivors who had the assistance of an advocate were significantly more likely to have police reports taken and were less likely to be treated negatively by police officers. These women also reported that they experienced less distress after their contact with the legal system (Rebecca Campbell, 2006).

§  Between 1999 and 2000, all rapes, 39 percent of attempted rapes, and 17 percent of sexual assaults against females resulted in injuries.  Most victims did not receive treatment for their injuries.

Definition

Sexual assault takes many forms including attacks such as rape or attempted rape, as well as any unwanted sexual contact or threats. Usually a sexual assault occurs when someone touches any part of another person's body in a sexual way, even through clothes, without that person's consent. Some types of sexual acts which fall under the category of sexual assault include forced sexual intercourse (rape), sodomy (oral or anal sexual acts), child molestation, incest, fondling and attempted rape. Sexual assault in any form is often a devastating crime. Assailants can be strangers, acquaintances, friends, or family members. Assailants commit sexual assault by way of violence, threats, coercion, manipulation, pressure or tricks. Whatever the circumstances, no one asks or deserves to be sexually assaulted.

The law generally assumes that a person does not consent to sexual conduct if he or she is forced, threatened or is unconscious, drugged, a minor, developmentally disabled, chronically mentally ill, or believe they are undergoing a medical procedure. Some examples of sexual assault include:

§  Someone touching, fondling, kissing or making any unwanted contact with your body;

§  Someone forcing you to look at sexually explicit material or forcing you to pose for sexually explicit pictures; and

§  A doctor, nurse, or other health care professional giving you an unnecessary internal examination or touching your sexual organs in an unprofessional, unwarranted and inappropriate manner.

Reactions of Sexual Assault Victims

Since every person and situation is different, victims of sexual assault will respond to an assault in different ways. Many factors can influence an individual's response to, and recovery from, sexual assault. These may include the age and developmental maturity of the victim; the social support network available to the victim; the victim's relationship to the offender; the response to the attack by police, medical personnel, and victim advocates; the response to the attack by the victim's loved ones; the frequency, severity and duration of the assault(s); the setting of the attack; the level of violence and injury inflicted; the response by the criminal justice system; community attitudes and values; and the meaning attributed to the traumatic event by the sexual assault survivor (Koss & Harvey, 1991). Some survivors of sexual assault will find they can recover relatively quickly, while others will feel the lasting effects of their victimization throughout their lifetime.

Possible Physical Effects of Sexual Assault

§  Pain

§  Injuries

§  Nausea

§  Vomiting

§  Headaches

Possible Emotional/Psychological Effects of Sexual Assault

§  Shock/denial

§  Irritability/anger

§  Depression

§  Social withdrawal

§  Numbing/apathy (detachment, loss of caring)

§  Restricted affect (reduced ability to express emotions)

§  Nightmares/flashbacks

§  Difficulty concentrating

§  Diminished interest in activities or sex

§  Loss of self-esteem

§  Loss of security/loss of trust in others

§  Guilt/shame/embarrassment

§  Impaired memory

§  Loss of appetite

§  Suicidal ideation (thoughts of suicide and death)

§  Substance Abuse

§  Psychological disorders

Possible Physiological Effects of Sexual Assault

§  Hyper vigilance (always being "on your guard")

§  Insomnia

§  Exaggerated startle response (jumpiness)

§  Panic attacks

§  Eating problems/disorders

§  Self-mutilation (cutting, burning or otherwise hurting oneself)

§  Sexual dysfunction (not being able to perform sexual acts)

§  Hyper arousal (exaggerated feelings/responses to stimuli)

In addition to these effects, a survivor of sexual assault may develop Rape-related Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (RR-PTSD). According to the National Women's Study, nearly one-third of all rape victims develop RR-PTSD sometime during their lifetimes (National Center for Victims of Crime & Crime Victims Research and Treatment Center, 1992). PTSD is a mental health disorder primarily characterized by chronic anxiety, depression and flashbacks which develop after experiencing significant trauma such as combat, natural disaster or violent crime victimization. RR-PTSD is diagnosed by a mental health professional when the biological, psychological and social effects of trauma are severe enough to have impaired a survivor's social and occupational functioning (Allen, 1995 p.169). For more information on RR-PTSD and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, please refer to the Get Help Series bulletins entitled, Rape-related Posttraumatic Stress Disorder and Posttraumatic Stress Disorder.

If an Individual is Sexually Assaulted

It is important that the victim of sexual assault understand that no matter where they were, the time of day or night assaulted, what they were wearing, or what they said or did, if they did not want the sexual contact, then the assault was in no way their fault. Persons who commit sexual assault do so out of a need to control, dominate, abuse and humiliate. Sexual assault is the articulation of aggression through sex, and has little to do with passion, lust, desire, or sexual arousal.

Survivors of sexual assault, as stated earlier, react in many different ways following the assault(s). Whatever the reaction, it may be helpful for the victim of sexual assault to call a friend, relative, partner, the police, or an advocate specifically trained in assisting victims of sexual assault. Some prosecutor's offices, police departments, and every local sexual assault program have trained advocates who work with sexual assault victims and can provide a variety of services including:

§  Accompaniment to the hospital, during the rape exam and to the police station;

§  Information about reporting procedures and what to expect;

§  Legal advocacy and court accompaniment;

§  Emergency crisis intervention, counseling and referrals;

§  Counseling for the victim's partner, spouse or family;

§  Assistance in finding care for children; and

§  Information about sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and pregnancy testing.

§  Immediately after an assault, it is most important that the victim find a safe place, such as a neighbor or friend's house, police station, or hospital. If the assault occurred in the home, the house should be secured as soon as possible by locking all the doors and windows. If a survivor is hurt, it is imperative to immediately dial 911 to request an ambulance or have a trusted friend or relative transport the survivor to the nearest medical facility for evaluation and treatment.

 If You are a Victim of a Sexual Assault:

· Go to a safe place immediately.

· Contact someone to be with you who will be emotionally supportive.

· Seek medical treatment.  DO NOT wash, shower, douche, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, change clothes, or clean up in any way.

· Call 911.  Report the sexual assault to authorities, even if you are unsure about filing charges.

· Seek counseling.  Even if you do not report or file charges, you should contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline for information about counseling.

· Remember, you are the victim and it is not your fault.  You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about.

 

 

 

Obtaining a Protection Order in Idaho

 

In order to qualify for a protection order, the abuser must be someone:

 

• You are dating or you used to date

• You are living with or used to live with

• You have a child with

• You are related by blood, marriage or adoption

• You are married to or used to be married to

 

Type of Abuse

 

A judge may issue you a protection order when your abuser has:

 

• Physically abused you

• Sexually abused you

• Unlawfully held you against your will

• Threatened to do any of the above

 

If you are 18 years older, you can obtain a protection order on your own without a parent or guardians permission. If you are a minor, you will likely need a parent or guardian to file for you.

If you qualify for a protection order, you can go to court house, or to our office where we can assist you in filling out the application. The temporary order can last up to 14 days and may be reissued. A full hearing will be held within 14 days of your application for a protection order or granting your temporary order. After a full hearing, the judge may grant you a protection order which lasts up to 1 year and is renewable for a period of time to be determined by the judge, including permanently.

 

You may ask the court for the following in a protection order:

 

• Abuser must stay away 1,500 feet from your home, work, school, family/household members’ residences or any area where you spend a lot of time

• Abuser must not commit acts of domestic violence and cannot harass, molest, annoy or disturb the peace

• Abuser must not contact you directly or indirectly (includes using the telephone, email, texting, or interfering with victim’s custody of children)

• Temporary child custody

• Counseling or other treatment for the abuser15

• Temporary and/or exclusive use of personal or joint property

• Abuser must not use and must surrender any firearms

• Attorneys fees and reimburse victim the costs to bring the action

A protection order may be obtained AT NO COST and WITHOUT an attorney. Applications, called petitions, are available from the clerk of the magistrate or district court in the county where you live, are temporarily living, or where the respondent (the person the victim needs protection from) is living. Tell the clerk you need protection from domestic violence. You may also file for a temporary order (14 days of safety) at this time if you feel you are in immediate danger.

The Family Crisis  advocates can answer the below questions as well as any others you might have involving the court process that are available to help insure victims safety.

 

HOW DO I GET A PROTECTION ORDER

 

HOW DO I FILL OUT THE FORM

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

EXTENDING THE PROTECTION ORDER

VIOLATIONS OF THE PROTECTION ORDER

Advocates can also help you fill out the necessary court forms. The "petition" is a legal document. It is important that you understand that you are under oath and have to tell the truth when filling it out. Please call us at 356-0065

 Am I in an Abusive relationship? 

Take the Domestic Violence Inventory test located in below  or clink the link on the bottom of the page(PDF form).

The DV Inventory consists of 155 statements concerning present situations, feelings and concerns that women may encounter in their past or present lives, relationships, and home situations. Read each statement carefully and put a check mark next to the statement if it applies to you or your situation. There are no right or wrong answers, so respond to each item honestly.

When finished follow the direction for scoring.  As stated on the form, even if your DSI total score is low, you may still be in or at risk of an abusive relationship. For example, ANY item you marked in the blue or purple color bands indicates that you are being abused now or are at great risk of being abused in the future. As you can see in the Multiply By row of each color, these two colors are given weights of four and five, meaning that they are more important than statements with lower number weights in determining whether you are in an abusive relationship or are at risk of being in one.

IMPORTANT: Even one check-marked statement in the blue or purple color band may mean that you need to take immediate steps now to avoid danger. If you are afraid, consider speaking with a Family Crisis Center Advocate/Staff Member right away to learn more about domestic violence and how you can protect yourself or your children. You can call 356-0065 or you can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for more information about domestic violence. If you are in immediate danger, ask for help now to get out of your situation before you or your children are harmed.

 

You can take the inventory test below or click on the PDF File to print 

D.V. INVINTORY1.pdf

                

Part 1: Complete the DSI Checklist

The 155 statements below present situations, feelings and concerns that women may encounter in their past or present lives, relationships, and home situations.  Read each statement carefully and put a check mark next to the statement if it applies to you or your situation. There are no right or wrong answers, so respond to each item honestly.

**Remember: go down each column and put a check mark by each statement that applies to you or your situation. When you are finished with the statements in the first column, go to the top of the second column of statements and do the same thing. Repeat this process for the third column until you have read and evaluated all the statements.

	1.  My partner and I always make up after an argument.		53.  Most People see my partner as a good father.		105.  My parents were good role models
	2.  He has a lot on his mind.		54.  My partner can be tender.		106.  My mother suffered a lot
	3.  He worries about the finances.		55.  My partner had a strict upbringing.		107.  My parents argued a lot.
	4.  I feel guilty sometimes.		56.  I just don’t measure up.		108.  My partner got beatings as a child
	5.  Feeling stupid.		57.  I’ve always been picked on.		109.  My partner was in the military.
	6.  I have difficulty making decisions.		58.  I feel lonely much of the time.		110.  I was severely punished as a child.
	7.  I don’t want to trust people.		59.  I have kids and no job.		111.  I was made to feel stupid in school.
	8.  I usually deserve what I get.		60.  I can’t really support myself.		112.  My parents fought a lot.
	9.  I have little, if any self-confidence.		61.  I have felt depressed at times.		113.  I was emotionally abused as a child.
	10. I keep my personal problems to myself.		62.  My partner says he didn’t feel very worthwhile as a child.		114.  I was psychologically abused as a child.
	11. I argue with my partner.		63.  My partner says he didn’t feel very worthwhile as a child.		115.  I usually go along to get along.
	12. I feel that I have no independence.		64.  I’m not allowed to go anywhere.		116.  I can’t seem to please him.
	13. I don’t have a good home life.		65.  He’s very jealous.		117.  He says no one could ever want me.
	14. It’s my fault most of the time.		66.  My partner is possessive.		118.  He says no one will believe me.
	15. I blame myself for what goes.		67.  I don’t think I can make it on my own.		119.  I pretty much have to deal with this myself.
	16. Sometimes my partner gets upset about little things.		68.  I feel I’m stuck and have no place to go.		120.  My partner has accused me of flirting with other men.
	17. It’s like walking on pins and needles around our house sometimes.		69.  He says he is friends with the police and sheriff.		121.  Sometimes it’s like he is on a power trip.
	18. Being afraid.		70.  Usually he is sorry after a fight.		122.  Sometimes I’d like to end this.
	19. I don’t feel safe.		71.  I know the things that set him off.		123.  My partner is a violent person.
	20. My partner has pushed me.		72.  He can go off after a hard day		124.  Sometimes he gets in a rage.
	21. My partner has shoved me.		73.  I’m afraid my partner could hurt me.		125.  He has been arrested before.
	22. I am sometimes afraid of my partner.		74.  Most people would believe me if I told them my partner abused me.		126.  His outbursts have gotten worse and worse over time.
	23. I would be ashamed if anyone found out how I’m treated.		75.  Most people have no idea how he really is.		127.  I got help, but he still threatens me.
	24. He has only hit me a couple of times.		76.  My partner has choked me.		128. He has tried to burn me.
	25. He usually denies that he is ever violent.		77.  My partner has thrown things at me when he is angry.		129.  My partner has tried to run over me with a vehicle.
	26.  My partner has been in court for his violent behavior.		78.  My partner has twisted my arm until it hurts.		130.  I’ve had to obtain restraining orders.
	27. I understand how my partner gets upset.		79.  Strict discipline with children is important.		131. The courts in our town aren’t that fair.
	28. My partner is a good provider.		80.  I had a hard time growing up.		132.  I have been homeless in the past.
	29. I sometimes have a hard time explaining myself.		81.  My partner seems to have mood swings.		133.  My father treated my mother pretty badly.
	30. Having the feeling that I’m unlovable.		82.  I was emotionally abused in childhood.		134.  The belt was used on me when I was growing up.
	31. I don’t think another man could ever want me.		83.  We don’t talk about family problems.		135.  I guess women have had to put up with men for a long time.
	32. I ran away from home when I was younger.		84.  He says he deserved what he got as a child.		136.  I don’t have anyone I can really count on.
	33. I stay to myself most of the time.		85.  I’m not sure he loves me.		137.  My father was a violent man.
	34. People hardly ever believe me.		86.  My partner has yelled at me.		138.  I think my partner felt rejected as a child.
	35. Feeling unwanted.		87.  He has lost his job.		139.  We hardly ever talk.
	36. I mess up sometimes.		88.  He drinks too much sometimes.
	37. Fighting scares me.		89.  Things have to be his way.		140.  A wife’s role is at home.
	38. In our house, he’s in charge.		90.  He has a dark side.		141.  He treats me like a possession.
	39. My partner has a short fuse.		91.  I was physically abused as a child.		142.  He controls the money.
	40. He punishes the kids too severely sometimes.		92.  Sometimes I try to calm him by giving in.		143.  After an episode, my partner usually tries to make up.
	41. He gets upset about the smallest things.		93.  His abusive behavior isn’t really all that bad.		144.  I experience feelings of helplessness.
	42. My partner won’t let me go anywhere.		94.  I can manage some of the most difficult family situations.		145.  I’m usually the cause of his outbursts.
	43. He hates it if I want to do things with a girlfriend.		95.  A family should stay together no matter what.		146.  My religious faith is not a comfort anymore.
	44. He has punched holes in the wall.		96.  Sometimes he can be cruel.		147.  I’m scared of my partner.
	45. Sometimes I feel so helpless.		97.  He’s threatened to kill me if I leave.		148.  I have no way out.
	46. He has threatened to choke me.		98.  I just want to survive.		149.  He has threatened to harm me.
	47. He’s been angry enough to break things.		99.  Sometimes I just have to stay clear of him.		150.  My partner purposely broke something of mine.
	48. I don’t think calling the police helps much.		100. My partner has threatened to hurt me.		151.  The local police are not all that helpful.
	49. Sometimes I feel there is nowhere to turn.		101. My partner has been in physical fights.		152.  He has threatened to run over me with a vehicle.
	50. My partner has force me to have sex.		102. My partner has hit or slapped me.		153.  He has burned me.
	51. He has intentionally kicked me.		103. My partner has punched me.		154.  He has threatened me with a gun.
	52. My partner has scratched me on purpose.		104. My partner has purposely hit me with an object.		155.  My partner has threatened me with a knife.

 

Part 2: Score Your DSI Checklist Responses.

1. Count the total of your checked responses in each color.

2. Multiply the number of check marks in each color by the number indicated.

3. Add all the numbers in all the colors together for the DSI Total Score.

 

Pink Color Bands	Orange Color Bands	Green Color Bands	Blue Color Bands	Purple Color Bands
Total Marked:	Total Marked:	Total Marked:	Total Marked:	Total Marked:
Total multiplied by 1:	Total Multiplied by 2:	Total Multiplied by 3:	Total Multiplied by 4:	Total Multiplied by 5:
Pink Total:	Orange Total:	Green Total	Blue Total	Purple Total:

 

 

Total of all colors:                                  (This number is the DSI Total Score.)

 

Part 3: Interpret Your DSI Total Score

The DSI total score was developed to help you evaluate your potential for current or future abusive relationships. See where your score fits in the ranges of scores that follow.

 

Total Score of 0- to 24 – Low Risk for Violence

Qualities of a good domestic situation are present. The relationship shows few, if any, risk factors for potential violence.

 

Total Score of 25 to 50 – Some Risk for Violence

Conflicts are usually resolved peacefully. One or both of the individuals in the relationship may have witnessed or experienced abuse as a child, which may raise the risk for violence in the relationship.

 

Total Score of 51 to 70 – Moderate Risk for Violence

The relationship may be non-violence, but the individuals may argue or disagree and experience conflict often. Consider speaking to a counselor to determine what you might do to reduce the risk of violence in the relationship.

 

Total Score of 71 or higher – High Risk for Violence

Risk factors of violent, such as threatening language and behaviors, are often present. There may be a history of violence by one or both partners. There may have been one or more violent incidents in the past, and the risk is high for future violence.

Some Check-Marked Items May Mean You Are in an Abusive Relationship, Even if Your DSI Total Score is Low.

Even if your DSI total score is low, you may still be in or at risk of an abusive relationship. For example, ANY item you marked in the blue or purple color bands indicates that you are being abused now or are at great risk of being abused in the future. As you can see in the Multiply By row of each color, these two colors are given weights of four and five, meaning that they are more important than statements with lower number weights in determining whether you are in an abusive relationship or are at risk of being in one.

 

Go back now and review your responses on the DSI Checklist

 

Did you mark any–even one–of the statements in the blue or purple color bands YES?  If yes, circle those statements on the checklist now.

 

Think over your situation carefully. Conflicts and disagreements are part of most relationships and can be handled constructively. However, when your home situation gets out of control, the results can place you and your children in danger. This sort of relationship is not normal. No one should be afraid of domestic violence, and no one should accept it. If you or your children are or may be abused, you will likely have to do something to change or get out of your situation. Domestic violence is a crime, and many people want to help you if you experience it.

GET OUT AND GET HELP

Tell Others About the Abuse: Abusers often create power over their victims by isolating them from family and friends. Don’t let this happen to you. Tell people you trust what is happening. Don’t be afraid to ask them for help. List people below who you can tell about your relationship. Include family, friends, and local shelters.

Create an Emergency Safety and Escape Plan: Decide what you will do and where you will go the next time your partner turns violent. If possible, get out of the situation and go to a safe place such as a friend’s or relative’s home, the police station, or a women’s shelter. If you are in immediate danger, get to a well-lighted and public location where there are lots of people and then ask for or call for police or other assistance. If you can’t safely get out of the house or apartment, think of places to go in your home when your partner may become violent. Avoid small places with no exits or places with sharp tools or weapons, such as bathrooms, kitchens, or garages. Try to go to a room with an exit you can use if you need to.

 

Create an Escape Kit: Prepare in advance to take important items with you when you leave. Some or all of these things can also be kept by someone you trust so you can just go if you have to leave in a hurry. Make copies or duplicates of things as needed for your escape kit.  Keep some or all of them together in a safe place so you can get to them quickly and without being noticed.  If you believe that you or your children are in danger, leave immediately, even if you don’t have some or any of these items.

Money—start saving some cash each week and set it aside in a secret place.

Extra set of house and car keys

Checkbook, credit cards, and bank account information

Driver’s license, Social Security card, birth certificates

Medical, school, and other important records

Legal documents, such as protection orders, marriage license, or divorce papers

Change of clothes

Important medications

Address book

Anything else you consider important to have.

 

Layout based on YAML | powered by Concrete5